Have you heard that you’re supposed to “talk with your hands” — but you have no idea what that means or how to do it right?
In this video, Michael Grinder, the pioneer of nonverbal communication, discusses how certain hand gestures help you be seen as more charismatic. He shares how to use hand gestures the right way — and demonstrates simple tips you can implement right now.
Read the modified transcript to “Boost Your Charisma With Nonverbal Communication: How Hand Placement Boosts Your Charisma — Even When You Don’t Speak” below:
Michael Grinder, still talking about charisma, the How-To of Charisma.
Here’s what you want to know. If someone can see you, whether you’re in person or even distant learning, what you do with your hands when you are talking makes all the difference in the world.
Example: if I sit here and I talk with you and I have long pauses and I have no hand gestures at all, you really wonder if I’m pausing because I don’t know what I’m going to say next.
What to do to be charismatic when you are talking:
But if I do hand gestures all the time and I’m doing no pausing at all, I become an incessant talker. An incessant talker, you’re not gonna come across as very intelligent. So if you’re gonna be someone who wants to be seen as charismatic, number one, use your hands when you talk.
Number two, every time you pause, and you have to pause to be charismatic, as you pause, wherever the hand is, it stays there until you start talking again. So it’s just talking with hands, freeze the hands, talk with hands. It’s a huge simple thing that people will see you as intelligent, competent, and confident.
Intelligent, competent, and competent. Those are synonyms for being charismatic.
We just finished talking about the idea of when you’re talking, talk with your hands, freeze the hands, don’t move them untill you talk again. But does that mean that you can only be charismatic when you’re talking?
No, you can be charismatic when you’re not talking. How?
I’m gonna go sideways so you can watch. If I stand like this and you watch me, can I in silence come across as being charismatic? The strong suggestion is to have an arm, forearm, parallel to the ground. It looks good.
What to do to be charismatic when you are not talking:
Have both arms parallel to the ground. Don’t interlace them with your fingers. Lay them on top of each other. Why? So that if you do switch from just listening to talking, the hand will come out, whereas if you interlace, it’s harder to get them out. So lay one set of fingers inside the palm of the other one, and just bring it out when you talk.
Three positions you want to have:
- Hands at your side.
- Have both arms parallel to the ground.
- Or, a combination.
I prefer the second two because if your hands are at your side and you go from listening to talking, it’s off. Whereas this is so easy to come from listening to talking.
Please avoid the following:
- Please stay away from fig leaves. It just doesn’t look good.
- Please stay away from hands in the pockets. And stop rocking if you would.
- Please stay away from hands behind your back.
You want to make sure your hands are either at your side, parallel to the ground, or a combination.
Charisma- practice how to be silent and still come across as competent, confident, and intelligent.
From the series How to Be More Charismatic.
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